Existentialism & Cheese

Life’s too short.

A strange statement that can be argued or agreed upon, yet we must consider this seriously. As I browse the vast world of the internet, listening to childhood RnB songs and eating a cheese sandwich, I have an unwelcoming revelation; I will die. Shit. 

Not that I’m going to die straightaway, I mean ‘Geez, keep the coffin in the closet’. I mean that at some point in our lives, the survival rate drops to zero (thanks, Fight Club). Which is true, but I can’t ravel my head around the concept. Others might say ‘But you got God, y’all be fine’ – however in recent times, I lost my religious touch, one day I’m off to church, the next I break all the commandments. Even if I class myself as a Catholic, it doesn’t make this situation any easier. This little moment has made me look back at what I’ve done in these couple of decades, some moments weren’t pretty and some were the greatest times.

Though, most of my achievements and enjoyment has been in the last two years, I worked hard, I actually got fit (not healthy) and I became more sociable – I’ve been so happy.

But, that stop tonight. Maybe it’s the fear of going back to college knowing it’s gonna be the hardest year of my life. It’s also gonna be the hectic year of my life. On the other hand, it’s gonna be the most life-changing experience of a year because of loads of things; prom, parties, holidays, date nights, nights out, night drives, driving lessons, school lessons, life lessons, love, hate, peace and war (not really). So, this is where I leave this post – I realize that all I needed to do was talk and the feeling is gone.

For anyone else feeling crap, look back then forward – death is only the last page, you have to write the rest of the story.

Big C, out.

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