The shocking reality. (Not so shocking)

Parties are almost always lose-lose situations. They suck.

This isn’t a general statement that applies everywhere and all the time, but it our current situation, it really fucking makes sense.

Somebody always has to clean up your fucking mess because you’re too much of a cunt to do it yourself, things get broken, relationships get broken because of stupid little quarrels over the opposite sex, so pointless because you probably won’t see said person again. Meanwhile i’ll be witnessing all these shitty little arguments thinking ‘what the fuck are you doing’, i’ll take a side when it’s needed, nobody has the right to be an absolute asshole to anyone, if you think you can then you’re broken somewhere up there.

Don’t all sit on the swinging ben- too late. That’s broken.

Do you remember that rule, bring your own drink? good luck kid, you’re not 18 yet. Enjoy your night sober, sit there and watch everyone else buzzing around the speaker dancing to house music while all you can think about is sleeping somewhere quieter. 4AM is round the corner and so are you as you push the bed away enough to make just enough space to curl up in to the shape of a Tetris block and drown yourself in small pillows.

Yes, I went to a shit party. Some of the people who were nicest to me last night were people I wouldn’t consider my ‘close friends’ and my real close friends didn’t seem so near last night. It’s not their fault and it’s not mine, it’s just not nice.

Hopefully the next one’ll be a good one. Until then, i’m going to attend a family Barbecue where my friend will be with my cousin, because y’know, somehow they’re dating…



Here I am.

Okay kids. This is how it goes down.

Username – Archie is my name. Salt is the first half of my surname. Simple right? Yes it is.

I’ll probably use this to share learned life lessons, reviews about Film, Television and Games. For example. Boyhood – haven’t seen it, want to see it. don’t spoil it please. Next up, Rick and Morty. NICE. An amazing cartoon aired on Adult Swim which is obviously based loosely off Back to the Future, but who the fuck cares when it’s hilarious, deep and original. Finally, Shovel Knight is my 8 bit bae, he cheats on Shield Knight for me because we’re madly in love and his shovel digs really deep, OOOOOOH THE MUSIC, Jake Kaufman you genius.


Listen to this, it’s good.